so, did you jerk off to it anyways???

No, the only reason I watched most of it was for the review.

would you say that it was jerk-offable, given that the viewer had it in mind???

To be fair, 1.3 seems to be a low rating considering the content of the review.  You make it sound mediocre at worst, while 1.3 seems like a rather low rating.  However if you have high standards, I understand.

In all honesty the number of factors needed to be taken into consideration in producing a pornographic film are small, subtleties, minute details, and especially video quality can make or break a film.

grossness of titties

review my friends hot dad next

review my friends hot dad next

gay sex

Needs more Portuguese porn

those bitches are pretty gross zigs

Daredorm may be the best porn out there, poo poo's cool

I have had several children to Lisa Ann but the Cleanex and kitchen roll terminated them.

Your review is a stellar showcase of your keen eye and lust for the ladies. 

TWINKLIGHT
reviewed/summarized by bjorno on the fly


Starts out with some long ass fancy credits with fetching in the backround and some epic score.
Goes straight into some fetching between two dudes, one of which has some BADASS TRIBAL TATTIES. Camera work is varied, which is nice but the thrusting and stock moans are not too thrilling.
I would have hoped there would be some plot elements or at least some establishing shot before sexing but this is what I get. I suppose I can't complain. The two dudes, who I have no idea who they are both orgasm and some important plot poo poo shows up.



The bottom in the first scene is shown crying in the shower and he begins a monolouge over some shots of him leaving town.
My guess at this point is he is the main character. Commence AWKWARD DIALOGE.


I will assume the main character's name is Bella or some poo poo since its meant to be a rip-off of twilight. Billa decides to go to a gay-bar to 'lighten-up'. Cue GAY DANCE MUSIC AND PELVIC THRUSTING. Also strobe lights. So bella meets some vampires in the VIP room at the garbar, but he dont know it yet.


At this point I assume the next scene will be an orgy.
WHOA A TELEPORTING GAY, what I assume is the edward ripoff just teleported to save Bella from some sleazy vamp. And my prediction comes true, blowjob scene! Best part of the scene, other than the gay sex is the techno. Camera work for this one is not as well done as the previous sex scene as it is primarily 2 angles being swapped back and forth. Blood is being poured on/around the cock during the fellatio because vampires like that poo poo or something. After they both jizz on each other one of the dudes bites the other and then they make out.



Billa and Edward talk about poo poo for a minute or whatever and then some more gay sex is shown. I will stop detailing the sex scenes unless relevant to plot. Some guy gets fetched/eaten by a non-heterosexual person in a fur coat.
Billa talks to his sassy roommate about meeting Edward and then has a dream where they fetch. You can tell its a dream because of instead of constant moaning there is like dreamy music and even more bloom in the camera. And pink fog, they are fetching in pink fog.
He is awakened by his sassy roommate, who is naked and goes to school. Another random dude is shown getting fetched/eaten. Important is that that random guy is indicated as a honky-tonk hetero as every gay man loves when straight guys get fetched. Edward and Bella meet again in art class and Edward warns billa about returning to the gaybar.
E & B meet that night in the gaybar and dance/grind each other. CUE MONTAGE OF E&B HAVING FUN/FALLING IN LOVE OUTSIDE TO SOME QUEER SONG.



Bella's sassy roommate is shown getting turned into a vampire and then E&B talk about some poo poo or something. The sassy roommate explains to Bella about vampires or some poo poo.
E&B have a falling out over some poo poo and then there is a vampire orgy. Edward tells Billa he is a vampire, there is a flashback to WW1, EPIC SCORE RESUMES during bloodsucking.



Edward confesses his love for Billa and they kiss all romantic-like and they they fuuuuuccckkk. But they fetch all romantic-like because it's true love and stuff. Edward had a big cock.
They both ejaculate on Billa's chest and then kiss lovingly. Billa is suddenly a vampire and something happens and then E&B fetch again. CREDITS ROLL.

Overall I found Twinklight to be a decent porno, most of the dudes were sexy, the fetching wasn't too bad and the poo pooty techno was cool. Going into it I assumed there would be more emphasis on the story and stuff but I should have known it would turn out like it did, being a gay porno and all. I was also surprised with the amount of pubic hair, as I had assumed all the twinks would be hairless like they normally are.
Twilight Points : 5
Porno points: 10
Gay points: ∞
Overall:

where did you obtain this fine production

I searched "twinklight megavideo" and found some megaupload link.