if everyone would follow ballinator's methods, we wouldn't be in a recession right now

He is offsetting the cost by slashing his hand doing party tricks

ballinator always does things in the most painful and rugged way possible

one time ballinator was at a bar with his burly beard and out of nowhere he shouted "I TIRE OF THIS USELESS FUR, OFF WITH YE!" so right then and there he just smashes a bottle on the bar and starts shaving his face with the broken glass, no water or cream or anything to speak of, and its the smoothest and cleanest shave the world has ever seen and when he's done everyone in the bar is clapping and cheering and some are crying from the magnificence that had just transpired and when this story was told to me i just nodded my head and said "yep, that's ballinator, the ballin'est shaver to have ever walked the earth"

then hipsters showed up to talk about their conspicuous consumerism like they always do and everything was ruined, THANKS A LOT HIPSTERS