RIP @Skrag

He couldn't even make a post

A couple is going through a divorce and custody of the son comes into question.

The father presents evidence that the wife hits the poor boy whenever he misbehaves the slightest. The mother reveals evidence that the father would get belligerently drunk and use his belt on the boy. The Judge suggests letting the boy live with his grandfather, but it turns out that almost everyone in this twisted family has a history of domestic violence. Not wanting to subject the poor boy to a life of physical punishment, the court decided to take a recess to brainstorm what to do with the son. The court eventually comes to a historic and unprecedented conclusion: The boy would be in custody of the England national football team because they're incapable of beating anyone.

Get off the stage!!

cirus I really liked that joke DO NOT let zigs get you down

Good joke

Now the real tournament begins!  The first leg of the first qualifying round for the Champions League is today.  The eight teams:

Flora Tallinn (EST) v Lincoln (GIB)
The New Saints (WAL) v Tre Penne (SMR)
Valletta (MLT) v B36 Tórshavn (FRO)
Santa Coloma (AND) v Alashkert (ARM)

TNS are probably the best of these, but Lincoln Red Imps from Gibraltar are a fun one to follow.  Gibraltar only got a place in the Champions League in the 14-15 season, and Lincoln actually managed to get to the second qualifying round last year.  They've won the Gibraltar league for the last 15 years or something so I'm sure they're really great.

The first qualifying round for the Europa League also has a few fixtures today.  Europa League isn't as interesting to follow since there's such a huge disparity in the club quality but if you want to see the 4th place Welsh team get thrashed by a team like Goteborg or Hearts, here you go.

What a poo poo game.  Roy Hodgson playing everyone out of position as usual, and our players just playing like crap.  It's embarrassing to lose to Iceland.  Roy finally did one thing right and resigned just after the game.  His team selection before the tournament even began was terrible, not a single winger, selecting Raheem fetching Sterling over the likes of Drinkwater, giving Marcus Rashford just 4 minutes' play (he did very well in those 4 minutes!).

You know, the England team earn 170 million pounds a week.  Roy Hodgson was the highest paid manager in the tournament.  What a fetching shambles.

Well done Iceland - they deserved the win, we were poo poo!

Oh wait, that stat of 170 million a week is bullpoo poo.  Still, you see the point.

To be fair, Iceland beat The Netherlands twice during qualifying, beat the Czech Republic, beat Turkey, drew against Portugal and Hungary and beat Austria before beating England.  The skill gap is not significant, but the name and prestige certainly is.

Can't wait for England to hire some other poo poo English manager.

Rumours so far: Gareth Southgate (current England under-21's team manager), and Alan Shearer to also offer his services

...though Russia 2018 is going to be a nightmare no matter who we have.

Nobody English is qualified, Eddie Howe seems to be the best and he is too young to want to do it I imagine.  Time to look abroad.

Not a fan of the Big Sam rumors for England manager, Sunderland would be in shambles without him.

Good first half for Portugal - Poland!

...yeah but boring second half.  Looking like penalties atm.

Portugal through by the skin on their teeth yet again.  If only England were that lucky!