This story dates back to my days as a shoe polish salesman. One day I was making the rounds down in Brooklyn. In those days, there was this gum store that I'd frequent every day. They had every kind of gum imaginable. In those days, you could get a bag of gum the size of a large pickup truck for 25 cents. So everyday I would visit the store with a quarter in my pocket. The rest of the day, I would spend finishing every last bit of gum that I had purchased. Now one particular day, I was feeling rather blue. You see, the demand for shoe polish and shoe polish accessories had dropped drastically. So I had been unable to make any sales. Because of this my daily gum purchases had to be cut in half. Well, I driving down the street. Kids were playing out on the sidewalk because it was the start of summer vacation. Suddenly without warning a baseball comes crashing through my windshield, and wacks me right between the eyes. I lost control of my truck, and careened off the road, crashing into someone's house. Well I was plenty dazed and a little embarrassed at this time, when the woman who lived there came screaming at me. Which is the normal response when someone crashes their vehicle into your house. Remember that kids. My first thought was that I would no longer be able to haul my gum around with me. Which made me even more blue. Gradually I began to realize that the young woman had been screaming at me for some time. All that yelling will hurt your ears after a while. So I kindly asked her to stop. This only made her shout louder. Obviously she wasn't going to stop anytime soon, so I walked away. Now I was left with no gum, and no truck. But then something fantastic happened. Now normally that road was traveled by a number of large trucks, hauling everything from ginger root to coffee cups. As I strolled casually away from the house I had just ruined, a big rig came rolling by. I noticed that instead of the normal burly unshaven drivers that usually pilot the big trucks, a hamster was attempting to navigate this particular truck. Which I thought was odd, because hamsters usually stick to the side roads. It was obvious to me that the little fella had no idea what he was doing on this street. The truck swerved this way and that, sending the neighbourhood kids running for the hills. Tires screeching, the truck plowed headlong into the same house that I had just left. When the dust settled, the trailer that the truck had been hauling was on its side. And what do you think was scattered all over the road? Well, I tell you. Piles and piles of Dubble Bubble gum. It was singly the most spectacular thing that could possibly have happened that day. My face which had been drooping immediately picked up, and a smile crossed my lips. Here on the road was all the gum I'd ever need. I made sure all the neighbourhood kids got their fair share of course

tl;dr

This story dates back to my days as a shoe polish salesman. One day I was making the rounds down in Brooklyn. In those days, there was this gum store that I'd frequent every day. They had every kind of gum imaginable. In those days, you could get a bag of gum the size of a large pickup truck for 25 cents. So everyday I would visit the store with a quarter in my pocket. The rest of the day, I would spend finishing every last bit of gum that I had purchased. Now one particular day, I was feeling rather blue. You see, the demand for shoe polish and shoe polish accessories had dropped drastically. So I had been unable to make any sales. Because of this my daily gum purchases had to be cut in half. Well, I driving down the street. Kids were playing out on the sidewalk because it was the start of summer vacation. Suddenly without warning a baseball comes crashing through my windshield, and wacks me right between the eyes. I lost control of my truck, and careened off the road, crashing into someone's house. Well I was plenty dazed and a little embarrassed at this time, when the woman who lived there came screaming at me. Which is the normal response when someone crashes their vehicle into your house. Remember that kids. My first thought was that I would no longer be able to haul my gum around with me. Which made me even more blue. Gradually I began to realize that the young woman had been screaming at me for some time. All that yelling will hurt your ears after a while. So I kindly asked her to stop. This only made her shout louder. Obviously she wasn't going to stop anytime soon, so I walked away. Now I was left with no gum, and no truck. But then something fantastic happened. Now normally that road was traveled by a number of large trucks, hauling everything from ginger root to coffee cups. As I strolled casually away from the house I had just ruined, a big rig came rolling by. I noticed that instead of the normal burly unshaven drivers that usually pilot the big trucks, a hamster was attempting to navigate this particular truck. Which I thought was odd, because hamsters usually stick to the side roads. It was obvious to me that the little fella had no idea what he was doing on this street. The truck swerved this way and that, sending the neighbourhood kids running for the hills. Tires screeching, the truck plowed headlong into the same house that I had just left. When the dust settled, the trailer that the truck had been hauling was on its side. And what do you think was scattered all over the road? Well, I tell you. Piles and piles of Dubble Bubble gum. It was singly the most spectacular thing that could possibly have happened that day. My face which had been drooping immediately picked up, and a smile crossed my lips. Here on the road was all the gum I'd ever need. I made sure all the neighbourhood kids got their fair share of course

Stopped reading there.

al bundy? is that you?

al bundy? is that you?

al bundy is a shoe salesman, not a shoe polish salesman
DUMBASS

a shoe store would also presumably carry shoe polish
ASS

al bundy only sells shoes
DUMBASS

Stopped reading there.

Got something against the Polish? :/

al bundy only sells shoes
DUMBASS

I tried to make a joke, let it go
ASSHOLE

YOU'RE WINNER !

Quote from: ZMannZilla on 03-08-2008, 19:29:58 PM

Stopped reading there.

Got something against the Polish? :/

My mother was killed by a Polish salesman.

Quote from: ZMannZilla on 03-08-2008, 19:29:58 PM

Stopped reading there.

Got something against the Polish? :/

their not AMERICAN