おはようございますでほほん
HAVING　INTERNET　ACCESS　IS　PRETTY COOL，EVERYONE

What I'm about to say is very important for your trip to Japan.

So I ate mackerel on the airplane ride and got a stomach ache. Watch out. You should be sure to watch all the Japanese movies on there and message other passengers with those screens on the back of those chairs in front of you. I really enjoyed Judge and this romance about a samurai chef.

You should probably print everything important you need to before you go to Japan because internet is expensive. It cost me Y1000 for 30 mins of WIFI at my fancy hotel (where it has cursive English letters on the side of the building, tennis court and poo poo. more on the hotel later) and Y206 for 30 mins at the hidden internet cafe in the nearby mall. The guy who ran it at 02:00 was really nice and gave my travel buddy and I free drinks from the fountain drinks. Might go back and order from the alcohol menu. Don't drink the beer in the fridge at your hotel because it's super expensive (you'll get billed later.) Instead, get Y100 to Y400 asahi, sapporo and kirin at a 7-11 or something and bring it to your room, wake up wearing a bathrobe with poofy anime hair.

That isn't to say everything will cost money at your hotel. For example, I got three cotton swabs, a brush, razor, showercap, toothbrush and paste, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, facial wash and other things I'm forgetting, all for free!

You can also look forward to the latest toilet technology like a button that plays a sound when you pee so you have sound privacy if you're embarrassed by others hearing you pee.

You guys can look forward to parking your bike or mo ped without tying it to anything on your trip to Japan. Most people own bikes here, so there's no need to steal someone else's. Non-bike owners have tiny cars or use wheeled bags, so it would be inconvenient to steal someone's bike.

+ your hotel should have mountain bikes and there should be a community bicycle . what a bunch of hippies

buy me a wife

Sorry. I have to find a Japanese GF for this American air force guy today. I can only play Japanese matchmaker one trip at a time

Just saw a guy with a shirt, "fetch KEN" who ever Ken is, fetch 'em

Update: still haven't found yuzu fruit, but ate the best grapefruit of my life here. Haven't seen any guys in tights. Got to practice my Japanese on Japanese people and I feel really tall like a model. I wore a bandana yesterday because I have a cold, but I'm not sure if people were staring because of that or because I'm a tall, good looking  American. Also ate at a conveyor belt sushi place with another American and we were loud, obnoxious Americans together

uck that buy me a wife

This guy took advantage of me looking like a lost tourist and guilt tripped me into tipping him for directing me to the right subway. I bet I could buy him as a wife for you. Also, this was at Akihabara and all I bought was an ice cream snack

can you find me a wife too? she doesn't have to be super hot or anything, just kind and caring.

It's ok if she smokes weed, but she can't do any hard drugs (meth, pills, etc) or be an alcoholic.
Smoking cigs is MAYBE okay, but I'd prefer if she didn't because the smoke gets all inside your electronics and ruins them.

I'm sorry for being so picky, but I have enough of these people in my life right now and I'm trying to get rid of them.

Bad cooking is not a problem, I want to be like one of those husbands on TV that always gets to joke about their wife's cooking (watch Lethal Weapon or Everybody Loves Raymond and you'll know what I mean)

hehehe

There's this lady at the checkout desk who is really friendly and agreeable to everything you say, so I bet she'd be your wife if I asked
She'd probably give me one of her phrases like, "ee sugoi ne"

Hi steev, I just wanted to thank you for choosing a video with Portuguese subtitles, it was very considerate of you to think about the non-english speaking forum users