Guys I decided to join the local cricket club since I own a cricket bat, even though I've never played the game before.

I went tonight for the first and it was quite an experience.

There were no white people, which was not a problem, but there were also no people speaking English. I was scared to even walk up and ask to play but I did. They were pretty rude to me and I think they were talking bad about me in their own language but i'm not entirely sure.

While batting a guy threw the ball at me on purpose and hit me in the thigh, it hurt like poo poo and a couple CM over and i'd be sterile. It is badly bruised.

While batting (this was my fault) I fetched up and the ball hit my pinky on my right hand which feels broken and is also badly bruised.

While fielding I dove for a catch and I guess i'm a pussy because my left palm is badly badly bruised. I cant even move my right pinky, I may need to go to a doctor.

They put me in some fetched up position where I had to run for every fetching ball in the 98 degree DC heat/humidity and I felt like I was going to pass out, despite being in reasonably good shape. When I went to get water from my massive pickup truck they (I assume) talked bad about me in their own language.


At the end they did invite me back, they want me to play again tomorrow. Should I return or was 1 experimental outing of this enough? I don't know if i'll be able to use my hands next week, much less tomorrow. Typing this post was painful.

I may take a pic of my hand later and put it on here. I'd take a pic of my inner thigh too but it would be a bit gay.

I hope you enjoyed my cricket experience

 

Oh and I lost my wicket for 6 runs too. #disgraceful  1 4 and 2 singles

Final note, 1 field over were the kickball sluts. I should probably join that, it looks like an excuse to fetch all the slutty women you can find.

What don't you understand about kickball sluts?

i tried to join the cricket team in highschool but all the indian dudes just spoke in punjabi the whole time and refused to teach me how to play.
so it sounds like diceman is doing a lot better than I ever did

I played soccer in high school P.E. this one time and I got kicked in the nuts by the most athletic guy in school.
It hurt so bad I nearly ripped my P.E. shorts off in front of everyone to check it out!!

Another time I accidentally kicked a guy in the shin and he fell down crying like a little baby! I felt good about that, fetch that guy!!

Those are my only sports stories #steevsports

Cricket is an exciting sport whose origins can be traced to the times of the Tudors. That said, the North American cricket scene is dominated by exclusionary Indians. History has shown the lack of sportsmanship among the people of the Indian subcontinent and this quality of their character persists to this day. A ride on Qatar Airways will, in fact, convince any sensible person that mankind would do well to extirpate that execrable race by any means necessary.

i tried to join the cricket team in highschool but all the indian dudes just spoke in punjabi the whole time and refused to teach me how to play.
so it sounds like diceman is doing a lot better than I ever did

Thankfully I hang out with @skrag so much that I already knew how to play (all the rules I mean, i'm poo poo at actually playing) so I didnt have to rely on them. but Rowdy is right these guys were very exclusionary and rude. But any time they spoke to me in English they called me sir. "Sir would you mind to go get your pads on? Sir would you mind to field here? Sir would you please keep your eye on the ball" and then they look at each other and go on in some language. I don't think it was Punjabi, these were like the type of Indians that look like black people.

@thegrandmystic do you want to play cricket with me and these black Indians?  If we had 2 white people it might be better

Quote from: bjorno on 18-07-2013, 21:59:20 PM

i tried to join the cricket team in highschool but all the indian dudes just spoke in punjabi the whole time and refused to teach me how to play.
so it sounds like diceman is doing a lot better than I ever did

Thankfully I hang out with @skrag so much that I already knew how to play (all the rules I mean, i'm poo poo at actually playing) so I didnt have to rely on them. but Rowdy is right these guys were very exclusionary and rude. But any time they spoke to me in English they called me sir. "Sir would you mind to go get your pads on? Sir would you mind to field here? Sir would you please keep your eye on the ball" and then they look at each other and go on in some language. I don't think it was Punjabi, these were like the type of Indians that look like black people.

@thegrandmystic do you want to play cricket with me and these black Indians?  If we had 2 white people it might be better

Bring them a poo pooload of samosas and they will be your friends for life, or they will assume you are racially profiling them and hate you.
Worth a try at least.
GOOD LUCK YOUNG BOWLER

I do enjoy samosas. Im not sure if these guys are even Indian, i'm just assuming. They could be Sri Lankan or something. I don't think they are Pakistani.

Sory D-man but I've never ever played cricket and would have no idea where to even start with that. The only bat/racket sports I've played in all my years are baseball, tennis, and racquetball and I haven't done any of those since college.

Who cares! I never played it before either!

You can use my bat of course.

But I understand if you do not want to subject yourself to the stinging racism that I went through.

The stinging racism I can deal with but I don't want to subject other people that know what they're doing to some guy showing up to play a sport in which they have no idea how it's even played - I don't even watch it on TV or anything like that.