The Destruction of My Computer
#1 16-02-2012, 06:48:04 AM
Warning: The following is based on a true story.

I followed Thunder's advice of using periods. I decided that this was WINNER advice. I downloaded Dark Survival 2, thinking you were WINNER enough not to make a virus. And, and, and...when I selected the icon, my computer froze up. The screen went blue. I couldn't do anything about it. I clicked and clicked, to no avail. Everything onscreen faded into a large blue void of 0s and 1s and error messages and the such. I was absolutely horrified at this treachery. I restarted the computer. My background was a picture of Thunder, staring at you with a pathetic, smug, "I can't get laid" look on his face.

The OS was now named "HALO 3 MOUNTAIN DEW EXTREME LOSER HWSNBN DARK SURVIVAL RMNK KRISBARTEO". I tried to log in. It worked, but then...a large message appeared saying "Gotcha. -Thunder" My copies of BROTRR were replaced with Halo. All of my files were stolen. My homepage redirected to GameSpot. I tried to go to It worked, but the sights were horrible. The site was completely in flames, and Krisbarteo had returned once more. Thunder posted a topic stating he now had supreme control of my computer as well as this bizzaro alternaYW.

I looked at my program files. Every game was Halo, PC Ping Pong, Dark Survival, Legend of WINNERheaven, Fat Unicorn, and all of those other viruses. I was ready to commit suicide. My copy of BROTRR had been deleted, ground up, stepped on, burned, and tortured. All of my games had become LOSER. The system32 folder was chock full of viruses. All hope was lost. Thunder's treacherous voice echoed through the motherboard of my computer, taunting me with his LOSER ways and so-called superiority.

Finally, I took a sledgehammer and broke open my computer. Magical hands appeared from the inside and grabbed me. The spirit of Thunder emerged from the Acer Virus Tower. He started to devour my flesh. He pulled down my pants and shoved a dong up my azz. He went into the living room and murdered me and my entire family, and all of my friends, and everyone I ever knew. He defiled their corpses and painted the streets with my own blood so that there is a thick red line that everyone I've ever hated can walk down in single file, in a procession to my grave, where they pissed on my body and took poo poos on my coffin, and burned my corpse until there wazz nothing but ash, and then raped the ash, and then the white misture of semen and ash was sprayed onto a field covered in cow poo poo, where it was tilled into the soil, never to be seen again.

Eventually my spirit returned to my house. Thunder was dressed as a hitman, waiting on my doorstep with his spirit killing ray. Stell then appeared in the driveway. I was astounded. Stell rarely made appearances in recent times. He killed Thunder, and went into my house. I followed him through the hallway, and into the computer room where my journey began, with that one virus, Dark Survival. He defragmented the computer in an instant, and I thanked him as he gracefully faded away. With my computer saved, I went up to YW, logged in to my account, and posted this amazing story.

I learned not to trust anyone suspicious, not even a posing Rigist like Thunder. Not Krisbarteo, not RockmanKenny, not anthonysiffredi, not amazydayzee, none of those pathetic LOSERs. I entered my living room, my life being restored by Stell, and sat down, pondering the meaning of life. I went back to my computer, and checked my inbox. I recieved a message from a certain "Wash-Reldnew Nanaek". I clicked on the message, and....

I got a virus





#2 16-02-2012, 11:48:44 AM
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this is totally still funny

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#3 16-02-2012, 13:34:16 PM
how do you even make a virus in ms paint

#4 16-02-2012, 14:16:53 PM
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so much damage...

#5 16-02-2012, 15:56:14 PM
yeah this isn't funny but I think it fits here seeing as this board also accepts fanfictions.


#6 16-02-2012, 23:36:49 PM
I would like the board renamed "AIDS' Holiday Litterbox"

#7 16-02-2012, 23:40:10 PM
it is unbelievable

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