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Lord of the Rigs: The George Lucas Edition
 
#1 12-02-2012, 14:56:27 PM
- Last Edit: 13-04-2012, 11:19:00 AM
Here's a BROTRR fanfic many forgot. I re-mastered it with proper grammar and paragraph spacing. Also, some plot inconsistencies were fixed, such as the dates. Enjoy!

THE LORD OF THE RIGS
The George Lucas Edition
Published: Feb. 12, 2012
Written by: coasterfreak007 and Over the Road Racer
Abridged by: Over the Road Racer
Edited by: Over the Road Racer

At GS Headquarters, the LOSER Lord Alex Navarro / HWSNBN wrote, in secret, a NEGATIVE review of Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, and into this review he poured LOSERness, a rating of 1/10 ("Abysmal"), and his will to destroy all WINNERs. One by one, the WINNERs of the world fell to the Nazi mods and trolls, but there were some who resisted. An alliance of BROTRRers, Rigists, Zighan, the Fiddy-Supez Alliance, and the CATS Army was soon formed, determined to beat HWSNBN and spread the will of WINNER across the world. The alliance marched into San Francisco, the location of GameSpot HQ, against the armies of HWSNBN, and fought all the way to the edges of the Grey Void. Victory was near, but the power of the review could not be undone. It was at this moment that all hope had faded, but suddenly, Lord Stellar Stone, the creator of Big Rigs, summoned himself and swiped the review from Alex, throwing it off the edge and into the Void. Alex jumped into the Void, grasping for the review, but Lord Stell sealed the portal, trapping him.

Five hundred years later, in 2552, the review was found by the dreaded Master Chief in the ruins of Los Angeles. He freed it from its Void prison, and named it "My Precious". The LOSERness emitting from it gave him an unnaturally long lifespan, but the review, longing for its master, fled out of the Chief's grasp. The review then returned to the Void, but found that Navarro froze to death while trapped, much to its dismay. The review, not willing to give up, traveled back in time to September 5, 2005 at 2:35 PM, shortly after Stell sealed the Gray Void. The Rigism Alliance was recovering from battle at this time, and Cirus206 found the review scouting for his master. Lord Stell then realized that this was in fact the same review he sealed moments ago, having traveled back in time in an effort to resurrect LOSERness. At this time, it was too late, and the review used its LOSER powers to break open the Void, freeing Navarro as well as the original review. Using his timestream powers, Navarro caused the two reviews to become one, and fled the scene of the crime.

Stell, realizing the review had to be destroyed or all would fall into LOSERness, decided to join up with WINNERs such as Shaq, Michael Jackson, Superman, Mr. T, Drake, the Master of the 99 Dragons, Tang, TANG CYBORGs, the Spirit Lord Supreme, the Ghost Assasin, Serpent-Eye Sung, Wang Chun, Pok, Banshee, Zhao Lin, the Iku Triad Whale Butchers, the Jump Pack Cyborgs, Undead Oni, the Tang Undertakers, the Tang Ninjas, Sprit Marshall Envoy, the Hung Fook Casino Palace Guards, Ossu, Wu Zin, the Jade Statues Gods, Billy Bob, Satan Hossain, the Ooze Guy, Scavanger, White Rhino, Dr. Morbis, Hyena, White Rhino, Cygore, the Action Gamemaster, Bubblegum Rozy, Mash Man, the Non-Human Guy, the floating Elton John heads, E.T., Aeris, Apollo, Hercules, Sunrise's owner and Taxi Racer cab driver Durik, Pepsi Man, Sergey Titov, Gary Miller, John Romero, Piet Dekker, King Harkinain, CD-i Zelda, CD-i Link, CD-i Mario, CD-i Luigi, CD-i Impa, CD-i Ganon, Morshu, Duke Onkled, Fari, Alma, Gibdo, Omfak, Hectan, Mayor "This is Illegal, You Know" Kravindish, Cake "My Cakes Will Burn" Baker, the Knitting Woman, the Hungry Girl, the Water Lady, the "Last Time Swimming" Fisherman, the General Store Owner, the Fairy Dust Lady, Iron Knuckle, Wizzrobe, the Swamp Wizard, the Forest Woman, the Three Witches, the Fairies, Armos, Glutko, Militron, Harlequin, Lupay, Ice Queen, the Frozen Woman, the Old Man, the Old "I May be Old and Ugly" Witch, the "Biggest Crab" Fisherman, the Beer Guy, Smith, the Fish Lady, the Fat Woman, Ipo, Sleepy Bones, the Fat Girl, the Astronomer, the Koridians, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Emil Hamliton, the Shaq Fu Dojo, and many, many more.

Stell, realizing these WINNERs weren't enough, told Shaq to go to the Great Temple located within the capital city of Minas Rigism. Here, Shaq would summon the Four Almighty Rigs to defeat HWSNBN's LOSER army that was preparing to attack the city. Once the Rigist Army arrived at Minas Rigism, he found that Navarro's army of three hundred thousand LOSERs and message board moderators had already begun to breach the city walls. Shaq then sent Superman to fly at the speed of light to Level 4 while he entered the Rigism Temple and summoned the Four Rigs. Once Superman arrived at Level 4, he found himself in the Zighan, the location of the CATS Army. There, Superman negotiated with CATS and his army, and they returned to the city. There, with a shout of "Take off every ZIG for great justice!", the Rigist Army charged into the mass of LOSERs, successfully driving off the foot soldiers and Nazi mods. However, Navarro fought back with the might of elite LOSERs such as the Master Chief, Osama bin Laden, and the terrorists from Grand Theft Auto. The Rigists thought they were finished for sure, but the Four Rigs arrived just in time. Using their incredible speed capabilities, they drove in circles around the LOSERs at warp speed, creating a massive cyclone that sent all of them flying to their doom. Minas Rigism was saved, but HWSNBN fled back to GS Headquarters, where he and his army regrouped for a time being.

Stell then sent the tag-team of Michael Jackson and E.T. into the center of GS Headquarters itself in order to destroy the 1/10 review once and for all. The Rigist Army, led by Barney and CATS, then marched to the front of GS Headquarters in order to distract HWSNBN and draw out his LOSER armies. The diversion worked, and Navarro quickly let his guard down while battling the Rigists. Inside GS Headquarters, Michael and E.T. snuck through the danger-laced hallways, traversing LOSER guards along the way. Finally, they made it to Navarro's office, where his computer resided along with the 1/10 review. Michael, using his dance moves, blew the computer to pieces. Navarro then realized he had been duped and fled to his office, where he was too late to save the review. He charged at the two WINNERs, but E.T. used his glowing finger to create a hole in the ground, leading to the Grey Void. The Void then sealed, ending Navarro's reign of LOSERness for all-time.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Not George Lucas Edition
Published: Sept. 5, 2005
Written by: coasterfreak007
Edited by: coasterfreak007

In the (gs) Headquarters, the LOSER Lord Alex Navarro wrote in secret a bad review of Big Rigs Over the Road Racing and into this review he poured his LOSERness, his abyssmal 1.0 rating and his will to destroy all WINNERS, one by one the WINNERS of the world fell to the mods and the trolls, but there were some who resisted, a last alliance of BROTRRers and CATS Army marched against the armies of HWSNBN and at the edge of the gray are they fought for the freedom of all WINNERS, victory was near but the power of the abyssmal review could not be undone. It was in this moment that all hope had faded, that Stellar Stone, the creator of Big Rigs summoned his courage and took the review fomr Alex, the review was lost for thousands of years, but it was picked up by the creature Master Chief, he called it, my precious, the review gave the Master Chief unnaturally long life and allowed the LOSERness of Halo to survive, but the review abandoned the Master Chief, wanting to return to it's master, it ended up in the care of an unlikely creature, a gamefaqs user, Cirus206, but Stellar Stone had told him that this review was in fact the abyssmal review that HWSNBN had written thousands of years ago. The review had to be destroyed or all would fall into LOSERness, the review must be taken to the gray area and cast into the endless void to be destroyed, so he joined up with other WINNERS such as Shaq, CATS, Michael Jackson, Superman, E.T. and Barney to set out on a quest to destroy to review. Stellar Stone told Shaq to go to the Great Temple of Rigism to summon the 4 almighty Rigs to defeat a mazzive army that HWSNBN was sending to attack Minas Rigism. They arrived at Minas Rigism, the city of the BROTRRers, but Alex had sent an army of 300,000 LOSERS and his deadliest servants, the message board moderators to attack Minas Rigism, if Minas Rigism were to fall, it would be the end of Rigism. So they sent Superman to fly at the speed of light to Level 4, the capital city of Zighan, home of CATS army, who had formed an alliance with the BROTRRers. They came to Minas Rigism to find the city under siege so with a shout of Take off every Zig for Great Justice, they charged into the mazz of LOSERS. But this was not enough to defeat to army of LOSERS, they managed to drive back the foot soldiers but HWSNBN had employed the help of other LOSERS such as the Master Chief, gangsters from GTA, and whoever you play as in Half-Life 2. CATS army would not survive long against the evils of some of the mightiest LOSERS ever. But the Rigs arrived just in time, using their incredible speed capabilities, they drove around the LOSERS in circles at lightspeed until a mazzive cyclone had formed and sent all the LOSERS flying to their doom. Monas Rigism was saved but HWSNBN was regrouping behind the walls of (gs) HQ. Michael Jackson and E.T. were sent into the center of (gs) HQ itself to destroy the one review in the gray void while Shaq, CATS, Barney, CATS army and the BROTRRers marched to the gates of (gs) headquarters to distract HWSNBN and draw out his armies of LOSERS, the diversion worked and Michael and E.T. destroyed the one review and ultimateley ended Alex Navarro's Reign of LOSERness for all time.


ZIGS_ARE_WINNER
#2 12-02-2012, 15:00:59 PM
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#3 12-02-2012, 15:24:30 PM
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A true story, to be remembered for all time


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