Normally I don't eat red meat or steaks because I have a very high opinion of myself and feel that strict dietary regimes make me special and better than everyone else, but I ate a huge ribeye for lunch today and it has caused explosive diarrhea. I really do not want to go into too much detail but this is really really really bad it is almost as if you are peeing out of the wrong hole.

I don't think ill be having any more red meat any time soon. 

There is nothing quite like a good colon cleansing, if anything red meat should be eaten for every meal

I should take those steaks out of the freezer.
GOOD IDEA DICE
:diarrhea:

Are you normally vegetarian??? Please share your favorite vegetarian recipes in this topic @Diceman

I don't classify myself as a vegetarian but I often eat as a vegetarian would simply because I enjoy it and it makes me feel superior to others. Why not make my world famous lentil soup so you can act smarmy and superior to others as well?

Wash your lentils well and set them aside in a bowl. Chop up a couple of onions, some peeled carrots, and some celery and cook it in butter until soft and golden brown. Please remember to season your veggies with salt and pepper at this point. You may now add your lentils to the vegetables and please add some cold water to cover by a few inches.

Add 1 smashed clove of garlic, 1 small clove spice, an inch of a cinnamon stick, and several sprigs of fresh thyme. You may cook this bad boy on a low heat for an hour or an hour and a half until your lentils are soft. Please check your seasoning again at this point.

Using an immersion blender, pulse several times in the pot to thicken it up. If you do not have one, blend or food process a bit of the lentils and add it back into the soup to thicken it.

Your soup is now complete.

Cut the crust off some white bread and put it in the freezer for 5 minutes to harden it. Cut it into small squares and skillfully fry these in butter while tossing rapidly to make the best croutons you have ever had, and garnish your wonderful soup with these. It tastes even better the next day, and you will not have explosive diarrhea


I hope you make my soup and provide feedback!

I don't have a blender, food processor or white bread.  Thanks!

Don't make croutons and don't blend it, it'll still be fine

diceman, maybe you just made the steak all wrong

try trhis:

i just ate a massive new york strip, i could literally rip my asshole open poo pooting tomorrow and i wouldn't change a thing

Why did I get 4 baby ratings for posting about explosive diarrhea? Should I embrace the explosive diarrhea to be more manly?

I gave you two turd ratings, it seems fitting

I don't have a blender, food processor or white bread.  Thanks!

Still, buy a pressure cooker, tapioca pearls and Montreal steak spice.

You wont waste time indulging in your superiority cause you'll be too busy eating. You might actually get annoyed cause you can make so much of a healthy stew in so little time.

:EDIT:

I just remembered: I haven't even touched my slow cooker (key word being "slow".)

Ej I'm happy to hear it. If u are nt vegetarian you can put in a strip of bacon while the soup cooks , and sub chicken broth for water to add a good flavor but it's not needed