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Topics - ZMannZilla
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# 286
As I recall, I promised to tell you all some stories about stuff that happened when I was working at the porn store.  Couple of things that are important to know when reading these stories:

1. This particular store was the K-Mart of sex accessories.  Every brand of lubricant imaginable, every silicon replica of genitals ever made, a full line of costumes, and the best selection of S&M and edible attire available in a store which also sells pornography.  And before Dissident even asks, the vibrating tentacles are by the south corner, next to a rack of "Urotsuki Doji" DVDs that are on sale.

2. Dissident was our best customer.  Nah, just playing.  It was actually REX.  I sold him TWO male reproductive organ used for procreation within a species pumps.

3. Sometimes I'll embellish the facts to make things funnier, but usually I won't have to.  For example, REX is not actually a regular, and he's not the person I sold two male reproductive organ used for procreation within a species pumps to.  In reality, it was one of my graphic design clients.

4. I won't be using any real names.  If a person's actual name is used here, it is either a joke or a coincidence.

5. Most importantly, this location had two theaters in it.  In case you weren't aware, XXX theaters are the traditional social forum of homo erectilus, otherwise known as the North American Dirty Old Man.  These places also have a subculture all their own, that you are better off not knowing about.

6. I will be discussing them, so if that sort of thing makes you go all yucky, now is your cue to exit.  Beyond this point, anything you read will be your fault.

7. That being said, I will only use graphic descriptions when it's absolutely necessary.

First story to follow in the next post...
# 287
Just bought one of those new iPod Nanos, the long skinny one.  You hold it sideways to watch videos, which honeslty I could care less about because I bought it for 8GBs of awesome music.

My first music purchase was two Dragonforce albums, Inhuman Rampage (Special Edition) and Sonic Firestorm.  I note the Special Edition because it came with two videos and an extra song for like $4 more.  The song is cool but the 2 videos I can watch for free on YouTube, so I'm kind of torn on that one.  There's no real reason for me to be out in public watching "Operation Ground & Pound", and some local laws would even consider it indecent exposure.

Anyways, rate my purchase: Is Dragonforce Awesome [Y/N]?
# 288
Social/Off-Topic / Oral Sex
18-12-2008, 02:09:51 AM
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:
 :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair: :belair:

It's fantastic.

# 289
Movies, TV, Music, Books / My dad's band
09-12-2008, 02:00:57 AM
My dad just moved to Virginia Beach after retiring from IBM.  He grew his hair long and bought a Harley.  My wife thinks he looks like Santa now, I think he's starting to look more like Jerry Garcia.

Anyways, he's in a cover band now, called White Lightnin'.  My dad is the drummer and he sings on some of the songs - I know for a fact that he's the vocalist on "La Grange".  Give it a listen:
# 290
I just started this awesome new job working at Nintendo, the only downside is I spend like an hour on the bus going to it, and another hour coming back, because the job is in Redmond and I'm in Seattle.  Anyways, Digipen and Microsoft aren't that far from where I work, and so when I get out of work, there's always all these programmer/technician/artdork types that are at the bus stop with me.

Today, as I was waiting for the bus, this guy with a weird accent comes up and starts saying how much he loves the rain, how it will wash away the world's sins and poo poo.  This gets a chuckle out of me, and so I become his special friend for the next hour.  Turns out he's learning how to program video games at Digipen.

He spends the next hour pitching these insane game ideas to me, the only thing I remember from that was he had an idea for a game where you play a guy who is the living embodiment of death, and he must rescue people from life by taking their souls.  Also, you have to get vampires to befriend you, before they decide to side with life.

Anyways, the guy was Russian, and he looked like Emilio Lizardo from "Buckaroo Banzai".  If you've never seen this awesome film, GO WATCH IT NOW, as it features a super scientist who plays rock guitar and is played by Robocop, alien Jamaicans fighting a pan-dimensional war with Red Lectroids, a young Jeff Goldblum wearing chaps and a cowboy hat through most of the film, and a rocket car that goes through a mountain by way of the 8th Dimension.  Anyways, this is what Emilio Lizardo looks like:

tl;dr - Russian game programmer shared with me his :stamp: video game idea on the bus.

# 291
Gaming / LittleBigPlanet
28-11-2008, 21:13:57 PM
Those of you bitching about Cirus' modding, should have a look at the recent problem LittleBigPlanet has been experiencing.  I wrote a review about it on my blog.
# 292
Gaming / DZ's sig
28-11-2008, 13:32:14 PM

This game is awesome!
# 293
Gaming / BMX XXX FTW?
26-11-2008, 00:33:22 AM

Yo Noid was and still is a fetching great game! Probably the best ever! Playing Yo Noid is like playing hacky sac with Jesus! Everybody should flood the phones at Sony and Microsoft. The people deserve a next-gen Yo Noid, dammit!

# 294
Social/Off-Topic / The Amazing Me
23-11-2008, 20:32:49 PM

Just to give you, my fellow BROTRRen, a small insight in the portions of my day which are not spent playing BROTRR and farting around on the tubes, I'd like to show you some of the work I do with one of my clients.

The Amazing Me program assists grade school children in creating their own comic books, the results of which are often silly, but almost always unintentionally hilarious.  My job is to receive the pages in progress and color them in, add Photoshop goodness to it, etc.  Some personal favorites from the archives:

Adolf Hitler devising a plot to kill The Original Kings Of Comedy.

Simon Cowell threatening children with his powerful magic.

The kids teach 50 Cent how to play "Alicia Dodgeball".

Dr. Martin Luther King laying the smackdown on Darth Maul.

Tupac Shakur rises from his grave... and gives the kids some helpful advice on how to kill giant robots.

Abraham Lincoln is summoned to do battle with a bloodthirsty Mary J. Blige.

Hitler makes another appearance, this time joining the Green Goblin, Al Capone, "Scream", and "a skeleton" in forming an evil undead kickball team, coached by Satan himself.

The comics that look like they were colored in marker were before my time, I only worked on about half the stuff up there.
# 295
Social/Off-Topic / A Joke
23-11-2008, 02:25:56 AM
Q: What do you call those white guys at the water park wearing black t-shirts?
SPOILER (hover here to read)
A: Juggalos.
# 296
Movies, TV, Music, Books / Mammal Sauce
22-11-2008, 15:11:17 PM

# 297
Movies, TV, Music, Books / sweetafton23
21-11-2008, 18:37:38 PM

I would cheat on Nellie McKay with this woman.
# 298
20-11-2008, 14:06:57 PM
On November 20th, we celebrate the release day of Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing on this most sacred of holidays, RIGAWANZAA!  So be sure to find a festive way to celebrate today!

Some suggestions for celebrating:

- Get a picture (or photoshop one) of you and a big rig!
- Hang an action figure from a tree!
- Enjoy delicious truck stop food!  Traditional items include chili dogs, Corn Nuts, coffee, and anything swimming in gravy.
- Ban Rex!
- Purchase Cialis from a Russian spammer!
- Give everybody CP!

# 299

Here are a bunch of songs that AREN'T Fett's Vette. MC Chris Owns (Mario Remix) White Kids Love Hip Hop Stop Picking ON Me Because I'm A Geek Evergreen Bad-Ass Everywhere
# 300
Social/Off-Topic / WINNER Storyteller
04-11-2008, 19:27:43 PM
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