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Topics - Nameless
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# 1
Gaming / Big Rigs RPG: The Search for Svetlana
26-12-2013, 08:02:12 AM
Greetings, WINNERS!

I've had this sitting on my hard-drive for awhile now but have neglected to upload it due to bugs and lack of polish. The story has went through several revisions since I last posted here and I am pretty happy with how it is turning out. While it is still far from ideal, BRRPG is in a playable enough state for me to post a link to it. What I am posting is not the full game but the first few hours of it. Concerning the full version, it is fully complete except for some of the dialog trees and optional quests I have planned. I'd have had it complete by now, but work and my social life kind of take priority. This is more of a time waster for me.

If any of you game on Windows and have a few hours to kill, you're welcome to hang out with Sergey for a few hours. I hope all of you are having a happy holiday and are enjoying time off from work/school. Later, guys.


(Shooting, casting, and blocking with the mouse is strongly encouraged. The keyboard controls may conflict with the mouse controls. I'll have to look into this further.)

Enter: Interact with Objects
WASD or arrow keys: Movement
Left mouse button or Ctrl: Fire Weapon
Middle mouse button: Psionic Shield / Globe of Invulnerability (with cool-down)
Right mouse button or C: Cast Spell
Esc: Character Menu and/or Cancel Action
Z and X:Cycle Equipped Weapon
F1: Toggle HUD
F2:Toggle Minimap (HUD)
F3:Toggle Equipped Weapon (HUD)
Shift: Jump


DZ -- Art and Play-testing (Title Screen/Suffering through the game's first hideous incarnation)

Cirus -- Conceptualization (Created the premise, started work on the game 8 years ago in RPG Maker but never finished it, inspired this incarnation, being an OG WINNER, etc etc)

Bjorno -- Voice Acting (It's truly WINNER)

Tabula Rasa -- For his thread on the engine001 forums detailing how to create a stat distribution system (I know you don't know me, but you helped out all the same via my lurking)

Sergey Titov -- For creating and producing such outstanding products

Todd Porter and Matti Paalanen -- Music


A sequel to Big Rigs Over The Road Racing has been in development for years. "Big Rigs Forever AKA Big Rigs RPG" began development over 12 years ago. Yes, you read that right; Stellar Stone started work on the sequel before the first Big Rigs even came out! The developers sensed that their initial concept for Big Rigs would be a smash hit and decided to begin work on Big Rigs Forever early in order to spread themselves out evenly over the gaming market and to maximize profits over a 20 year product cycle.

Sadly, the game can almost be considered vaporware. Set back after set back caused heavy criticism amongst the gaming community; criticism that prompted Stellar Stone's now famous (and often parodied) official response: "It's done when it's done." The chances of Big Rigs Forever ever seeing the light of day have become even bleaker as it has been rumored that GameMill Publishing, Stellar Stone's publisher, has taken steps to sue the Big Rigs developer. Court hearings have outlined GameMill Publishing's case against Stellar Stone as "Repeated gross negligence of important deadlines, failure to meet contractual obligations and, most shockingly, not enough WINNER."

Stellar Stone has reportedly denied the claim of "not enough WINNER" as "defamation of character" and plans to counter-sue. When both developer and publisher were contacted by the gaming press, reporters were given a "no comment" statement with regards to the rumored, though likely, court case. However, Stellar Stone were quick to reassure fans not to worry about Big Rigs Forever by saying:

"Always bet on Big Rigs."

So there you have it; the 12 year saga broken down into three paragraphs. I hope that answers your questions!

Regards, Keith The L00N


# 2
I'd have posted this in the Help sub-forum but for some reason I cannot create threads there.

Anyway, when I attempt to connect to the wiki, I get a database error message. It was a great compilation of lore so hopefully I'm not the only one experiencing this.

# 3 record themselves saying the phrase "Updated My Journal."

I'd do it myself, but I don't have any other microphone except for the one that came with an old Soundblaster Live! card from the Devonian Period (it sounds like poo poo). Funny sounding phoney accents are a plus.

# 4
An action-RPG by: Nameless

Title Screen by DZ

Background Story

It has been two years since Shaq defeated Kobe and The Black Fist—a diabolical and sadistic organization that fisted all who opposed them. Michael Jackson, having now become the physical avatar of the god Stellar Stone, teleported Shaq back to his own dimension. Together with his disciple Barney the Dinosaur, The Black Fist had all but been wiped out. Without the shackles of anal slavery, the denizens of The Second World are able to pick up the pieces and carry on with their lives.

All seems well and dandy—or *DOES IT?*

Having returned to Earth, Shaq settled back into old vices. The women, fame, and fortune enabled Shaq to become a bit too docile and lazy. Gin and Juice flowed as freely as the easy women and product endorsement deals. Back on the Second World, the remnants of The Black Fist have banded together in secret with the intention of reviving the dead Lord of Lubricant—Goatse. After a dark ritual involving a jar of KY, a few parking cones, and a blood sacrifice, Goatse once again materializes into the realm of the living. Having been strengthened by the revival of Kobe Bryant’s right hand man, the Black Fist remnants reform anew as *The Gaped Crusaders.* Three other vile lieutenants—Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and TTRay (a Kefka cosplayer) join Goatse in leading The Gaped Crusaders toward world domination. All hope seems lost as the gaped ones violate every living thing in their path.

Back on Earth, Shaq opens up to his friends Fiddy Cent and Snoop Dogg about his experience on The Second World. Neither of them take him very seriously until a tear in the inter-dimensional rift lands all three of them back on The Second World.

Shaq Returns to The Second World

After three days, Shaq and crew awake from their coma to find out that they are bedded up inside of a castle. By this point, Fiddy Cent is seething. “If this is some sort of sick and twisted joke for doubting you earlier, it is far from humorous. This place is dank and smells horrid!” Fiddy Cent exclaims indignantly. Snoop Dawg is quick with a comeback and quips:

“Fool. Dat be yo azz stinkin’.”

The party is soon interrupted when a man clad in full-plate armor enters their sleeping quarters. Shaq recognizes his regalia immediately—the knight is a member of the Shaq Fu Army lead by a wise old man named Dragnor. After being instructed to speak with Dragnor in the throne room, the confused party resigns themselves to seeking him out. After a heated argument between Shaq and Dragnor, Shaq realizes that it wasn’t Dragnor who summoned them back to The Second World. Snoop by this point demands to return to Earth and the rest of the party agrees. However, Dragnor’s empire has begun to stagnate and slowly collapse. After the fall of The Black Fist, another power has arisen in the far off continent of North Moonwalkia and war looms on the horizon. With the pride of a nation hanging in the balance, Dragnor agrees to send Shaq and crew back to his own dimension under a few undesirable conditions. Shaq, of course, reluctantly agrees.

The rest of the party needs further coercing, of course. Dragnor, being a hard bargainer by nature, promises the party riches and status beyond their wildest dreams. Hell, even whole islands and legions of willing bimbos will be there for the taking! The price? The party must simply agree to investigate a cult that has taken foothold in the slums district and root out a spy from North Moonwalkia.

By this point, the party needs no further convincing. They’re down for the cause.



Age: 40
Class: Bad Mutha
Gender: Male

Description: The Big Aristotle. Shaq Daddy. Shaq Diesel. Shaqizzle O'Nizzle. Whatever you call him, you cannot deny that he's a terrifying presence on both the basketball court and in melee combat. Strong, hardy, and a bit quixotic, Shaq never backs down from a challenge and tends to let his fists do the talking for him (unless he's spitting a phat rhyme). But don't let his size 22 shoes fool you. He is an experienced planewalker and has traveled to and from The Second World many times. As the billions of people who played Shaq Fu already know, he decided to enter a portal to The Second World to save a kid he never even met during his first inter-dimensional excursion. His rationale? Maybe there will be plenty of people there to beat up. If this isn't a sound premise to build a game's story upon, I don't know what is.

Fiddy Cent

Age: 37
Class: Brawler
Gender: Male

Description: This dude is mean and he's fierce. After having been shot 9 times, his brush with death left Fiddy Cent with a hardened emotional exterior. However, over the course of his "epic" journey, Fiddy learns to reconnect with emotions he had thought long dead. Stoic and well-spoken, Fiddy is sometimes at odds with Snoop Dogg who he perceives as a try-hard pimp wannabe. Though opinionated, he always tries to do things that seem morally correct, though his empathetic side is sometimes exploited effectively by others. Will he ever find love?


Age: 40
Class: Spellcasta
Gender: Male

Description: Whether it was the copious amount of drugs consumed over his lifespan or some sort of psionic glitch during inter-dimensional travel, Snoop Dogg can cast spells on The Second World. And to quote Gandolf from Lord of the Rings, he's a magician of "no small power." When not smoking blunt after blunt of Compton's finest greenery, Snoop can be observed Shaqing the azzes of his foes with deadly magic. The relationship between himself and Fiddy Cent is tumultuous, to say the least. However, over the course of their journey, the two come to an understanding as Snoop reveals a traumatizing event from his past that made him the man he is today.


Screenshot 1

Screenshot 2

Screenshot 3

Game Trailer

Credits (other than myself)


The Inquisitor

Download Link

This game is intended for mature audiences. I also *strongly* recommend you play the censored version of the game to avoid the shock images. All the censored version does is remove them. Even so, this game contains some pretty strong language.

EDIT: Updated to version 1.4

This new version fixes some old bugs including the dreaded "failed to create bitmap" bug that will auto-crash the game if the AI attempts to update outside of the player's visible screen.

Patch 1.4:
# 5
My experience:

All tuckered out due to pulling 13 hour shifts of writing piss, poo poo, and fist jokes for the last two weeks straight, I decided that I needed a break. Trash littered my apartment; clothes lay discarded on the floor. It was a perfect metaphor for the life I have lived for the last 25 years. Checking my voice mail for the first time in a week, I noticed thirteen unread messages (all from my ex-girlfriend). The first one read:

"Hey Nameless, this is Lyndsay. I want my stuff back from your apartment--please be an adult about this. I need not ask why you've been avoiding my calls. I know you're on your fetching computer again. Get back to me ASAP." I could hear her man whispering comforting words to her in the back ground.

It was at that very moment that I realized I had to take back my manhood. Too long have I been emasculated by the fairer sex. Too long have I longed to be a macho manly man. It was time to drive a fetching Big Rig. No more excuses. No more "I'm too busy" or "I have to work tomorrow." Having lost my job, all of my old rationalizations became falsehoods that were too blatant to ignore. Distraught and filthy, I trudged my way toward the nearest Gamestop. The troglodyte at the counter could almost sense my intent. He sneered menacingly behind years of scar tissue build up probably due to a combination of picking at his adult acne and God relieving himself in his gene-pool.

"Eye contact. Just don't make eye contact."

"Excuse me sir, do you have a copy of BROTRR?"

His good eye turned toward me and I could sense utter disbelief and amusement in his body language. His lazy eye just dangled there flaccid like Old Tyree's cock in a pork grind factory.

"Are you seriously asking me if we stock the worst game in history? Go check the bargain bin at Big Lots, you loser."

Well, it was right about one thing. I was a loser; however, deep down in my heart I felt that I'm not LOSER. My search continued throughout the day to no avail. I was more or less met by the same response by every employee of every store I checked. Unfortunately, I had to turn to more unsavory means to get my BROTRR fix--bittorrent.

**Installation Complete**

Upon reading those words, it was like the Hand of Stell himself was resting upon my shoulder consoling and comforting me. He too had to endure pain and torment in his lifetime, yet he prevailed and created the greatest game in The Universe, or so The Rigists claim. They couldn't be wrong. How could millions of die hard fans--nay--followers be wrong?

I played the damn thing.

My initial reaction was amusement. "So the rigs are breaking the laws of physics. Big deal. Goatse can do the same thing by adamantly shoving parking-cone sized objects into his hoo hoo when nature only intended matter to leave the orifice." But once I entered the Gray Void, I knew right then that my life would never be the same. For years, I have played by society's rules. Authority dictated that I work the typical 9 - 5 job just like any other cog in the machine. Federal and state laws dictate to the populace that we should only put government sanctioned substances into our bodies or face jail time and leisure time with Kobe incarnate from B-pod in cell-block C. Yet here was a game, presumably created by a fellow human being, that allowed me to do what I wanted whenever I wanted; absolute freedom to be the person that I was always meant to be. Here was a game that allowed me to be free and legal. Here was my fetching answer to everything.

Am I claiming to be an expert in Rigism? Hell no--this game is like a great work of literature. It's so multifaceted that my learning will probably never be complete. But when it told me that I was WINNER? Hell, how do you even put an experience like that into words? Yet, with Mr. Stone as my guide, I think I am finally willing to learn what it means to be a BROTRRer. It's a difficult burden to carry, but Stell willing, I think I'll be able to see this through. Sorry if this post ran on a little too long, but I just had to share this experience with people that can relate.
# 6
Gaming / Shaq Fu RPG
17-05-2012, 13:42:19 PM
In 2002--an organization named the Shaq Fu Alliance was born. Some say they were spawned via the immaculate grace of Shaq himself. Others contend that they were merely an offshoot of Gamefaqs' LUE board circa late 2001. Raids were performed. Jokes were told. A subculture was born.

On day 15 of March 2002, Shaq asked a boon of his faithful--that a game be made in his image. A game *was* made. However, it was a shoddy mess hastily compiled by a confused adolescent. It wasn't very good, but Shaq still deemed it worthy of bearing his name. Years passed and his faithful grew old and restless. Many spawned children of their own and went off and did things Shaq did not approve of like obtain business degrees and rent apartments. His warriors traded their zeal of battle for the comforts of peace. Kobe built and trained his army with the most blackened of fists while the SFA faded into obscurity.

On day 15 of May 2012, a relic of that bygone age was rediscovered by its creator. The Shaq Fu RPG lives:

EDIT: Alright, I was drunk when I uploaded the previous "fixed" version. All the fixed version did was add two more fist jokes and didn't actually fix any problems. Here is the REAL version--ignore all of the other versions floating around out there. There are bugs that will prevent you from completing the game. It is also about 10X easier.

I'm "working" (more like sitting on my ass) full-time now so I no longer have the time to support the first game. The second game is still being worked on everyday, however.  That one will be completed.

If anyone has any questions or problems, I can be reached at:

EDIT: Too much info. I'd hate for an employer to find this glorious, politically correct game.
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