Q: What was it like to work at a public television station?

A: The nice thing about working at a public television station is that you don't really need a lot of experience to get in, and you get a lot of experience along the way.  Like most starter jobs though, it sucks ass.  Our station was right across the street from one of the network affiliates, so we'd constantly run into the union guys that worked there while we were out having lunch or something, and basically discovered they were getting paid twice as much for a lot less work.

The "less work" part is important.  Not only did we do what they were doing (run cameras, studio setup, field shoots), but our studio also got rented for public events so we were always getting called in to set up for catering events and parties.  If I became a caterer, I would have been paid better and been doing essentially the same job, minus having to get blasted in the face by 15000 foot-candles of blazing hot light while I'm teetering around in a half-busted scissor-lift.

Also, since this was an "opportunity" type job, it was run by poo pooheads who couldn't make the cut at any other TV station.  My direct supervisor was a short cranky bitch with a chip on her shoulder, and the producers were all either fresh-out-of-college jackasses on amateur power trips, egotistical hot-shots convincing themselves they were doing Public TV "between gigs" (yeah, you're going on Year 10 here, I don't think FOX is calling back) or opinionated liberal loudmouths who couldn't get jobs at any other studio in town because of their attitude problems.  Most of the talent ('talent' being the very unfitting term used for "the wankers we let in front of the camera") were obnoxious egomaniacs and acted like they were goddamn celebrities because they were on TV once every 3 months convincing shut-ins to pledge a year's worth of their Social Security checks for a Big Bird canvas tote bag.  Even the full time production assistants were total jaggovs, I'm guessing they make it a job requirement when you get hired full time.

Some retarded demands too.  Holy crap, they asked for a lot.  For barely more than minimum wage, zero benefits and less job security than part-time hobo, they expected us to do Hollywood-quality setups in under 4 hours (because they couldn't have us working more than 30 hours a week).  Right, I'm supposed to double-time it because you dippoo poos want to pay me less.

And the money was the worst part.  Yeah, sure, public TV has to beg for money every 3 months.  And to be honest, the pledge drives were the best because they were the only time periods where we were guaranteed our full 30 hours doing nothing but easy camera work.  But consider this: they don't have the money to pay their studio help a livable wage because they have to panhandle during Lawrence Welk reruns, yet the CEO of the station was the highest paid broadcaster in the city - that includes the for-profit stations that paid their union guys awesomely.  Yeah, that makes as much sense as running a McDonald's spot before and after Sesame Street and claiming it's not a paid advertisement, it's "a thank-you message for underwriting this program".  Also, our station had the money to convert to HD broadcasting a full 5 years before it was even required by law - while most for-profit stations in the area didn't convert until less than 6 months beforehand.  They had the fetching money.  They had all the fetching money.

So basically, working in public TV for me was a thankless and grueling experience, where I went to work every day knowing I was getting dicked royally by sociopaths and fetchwits.  Also, they laid me off 4 days before Christmas because I turned down a 4-hour dinner party setup to interview for a PA position on a movie shoot, because the poo pooty amount of money they were offering ($75/day) was still more than I was getting at the station.  I did get the job (it was the Tommy Hilfiger production "Proud", in which I even wrangled a small speaking role), but they didn't start shooting til 3 months later, so y'know, merry fetching Christmas.

Now, every time I see those cock-monglers begging for pledges, or whining about how the government is defunding the CPB, I laugh.  fetch public television.  Sesame Street and Dora are on Netflix now.  If I need to watch 80's britcoms, I'll look for them online.  And Mark Russell is Tom Lehrer for pussies.

enlightening as always

Wow.

Forgot to mention the best part - I was shooting promo spots for Reading Rainbow one day, basically my job was to lock a camera in front of Levar Burton and slowly zoom in while he spoke.  Twice, he forgot his lines and yelled "fetch!" That was pretty cool.  I also got to meet Jim Kelly from the Buffalo Bills and Bo Diddly, and was on the stage pulling cables while Living Colour was playing the Guitar Festival.  So it wasn't all bad.

Forgot to mention the best part - I was shooting promo spots for Reading Rainbow one day, basically my job was to lock a camera in front of Levar Burton and slowly zoom in while he spoke.  Twice, he forgot his lines and yelled "unicorn!"

I would pay good money to see that

yelled "unicorn!"

I didn't know Levar Burton was a girl.

Forgot to mention the best part - I was shooting promo spots for Reading Rainbow one day, basically my job was to lock a camera in front of Levar Burton and slowly zoom in while he spoke.  Twice, he forgot his lines and yelled "fetch!" That was pretty cool.  I also got to meet Jim Kelly from the Buffalo Bills and Bo Diddly, and was on the stage pulling cables while Living Colour was playing the Guitar Festival.  So it wasn't all bad.

Why haven't you sold your story to a reputable news source of Huffington Post or something?