My experience:

All tuckered out due to pulling 13 hour shifts of writing piss, poo poo, and fist jokes for the last two weeks straight, I decided that I needed a break. Trash littered my apartment; clothes lay discarded on the floor. It was a perfect metaphor for the life I have lived for the last 25 years. Checking my voice mail for the first time in a week, I noticed thirteen unread messages (all from my ex-girlfriend). The first one read:

"Hey Nameless, this is Lyndsay. I want my stuff back from your apartment--please be an adult about this. I need not ask why you've been avoiding my calls. I know you're on your fetching computer again. Get back to me ASAP." I could hear her man whispering comforting words to her in the back ground.

It was at that very moment that I realized I had to take back my manhood. Too long have I been emasculated by the fairer sex. Too long have I longed to be a macho manly man. It was time to drive a fetching Big Rig. No more excuses. No more "I'm too busy" or "I have to work tomorrow." Having lost my job, all of my old rationalizations became falsehoods that were too blatant to ignore. Distraught and filthy, I trudged my way toward the nearest Gamestop. The troglodyte at the counter could almost sense my intent. He sneered menacingly behind years of scar tissue build up probably due to a combination of picking at his adult acne and God relieving himself in his gene-pool.

"Eye contact. Just don't make eye contact."

"Excuse me sir, do you have a copy of BROTRR?"

His good eye turned toward me and I could sense utter disbelief and amusement in his body language. His lazy eye just dangled there flaccid like Old Tyree's cock in a pork grind factory.

"Are you seriously asking me if we stock the worst game in history? Go check the bargain bin at Big Lots, you loser."

Well, it was right about one thing. I was a loser; however, deep down in my heart I felt that I'm not LOSER. My search continued throughout the day to no avail. I was more or less met by the same response by every employee of every store I checked. Unfortunately, I had to turn to more unsavory means to get my BROTRR fix--bittorrent.

**Installation Complete**

Upon reading those words, it was like the Hand of Stell himself was resting upon my shoulder consoling and comforting me. He too had to endure pain and torment in his lifetime, yet he prevailed and created the greatest game in The Universe, or so The Rigists claim. They couldn't be wrong. How could millions of die hard fans--nay--followers be wrong?

I played the damn thing.

My initial reaction was amusement. "So the rigs are breaking the laws of physics. Big deal. Goatse can do the same thing by adamantly shoving parking-cone sized objects into his hoo hoo when nature only intended matter to leave the orifice." But once I entered the Gray Void, I knew right then that my life would never be the same. For years, I have played by society's rules. Authority dictated that I work the typical 9 - 5 job just like any other cog in the machine. Federal and state laws dictate to the populace that we should only put government sanctioned substances into our bodies or face jail time and leisure time with Kobe incarnate from B-pod in cell-block C. Yet here was a game, presumably created by a fellow human being, that allowed me to do what I wanted whenever I wanted; absolute freedom to be the person that I was always meant to be. Here was a game that allowed me to be free and legal. Here was my fetching answer to everything.

Am I claiming to be an expert in Rigism? Hell no--this game is like a great work of literature. It's so multifaceted that my learning will probably never be complete. But when it told me that I was WINNER? Hell, how do you even put an experience like that into words? Yet, with Mr. Stone as my guide, I think I am finally willing to learn what it means to be a BROTRRer. It's a difficult burden to carry, but Stell willing, I think I'll be able to see this through. Sorry if this post ran on a little too long, but I just had to share this experience with people that can relate.

  This was beautiful man.

 


Also, Gotse is pretty WINNER

Very touching and enlightening. I feel we should compile an anthology of all of our first time experiences with the wonderously  game of Big Rigs.

 Nameless,        

Since this post was made, I have split my time between replaying BROTRR, re-reading the Book of Rigism, working on SFRPG2, doing copious amounts of laundry (you know why), and listening to Snoop Dogg--Doggystyle. I have to ensure that all of the SS lore is accurate since their glorious empire is going to play a huge part in the game. I'm not going to spoil anything, but let's just say that this game will be a celebration of the African American community and political correctness.

I know I said I wouldn't post again until I release SFRPG2, but I just couldn't stay away from the BROTRRers.