Serious Question: Will I get heavy metal poisoning or something similarly bad if I eat sardines every day?

No. They only have elevated levels of arsenic, but it's as organic arsenic which is not the most toxic form.

https://sites.dartmouth.edu/arsenicandyou/arsenic-in-seafood-and-seaweed/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26400115/

Conclusions: Results demonstrate that dietary arsenic intake from fish, seafood and seaweed along with all their products do not constitute a significant health threat to consumers apart from the seaweed species Hizikia fusiformis in which over 40% of all the inorganic arsenic compounds were found.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qhb9KzAhrFk

Dude tells it like it is. Respect.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qhb9KzAhrFk

Dude tells it like it is. Respect.

That's real

Sardines review: they were good.  I liked the little pickled veggie bits, added some nice flavor.

I got them at this cool little filipino corner store in Newport News, along with a bunch of other cool poo poo like calamansi concentrate and some sisig spice packs.

I think I will start eating sardines for breakfast, at the very least after having gone to the gym the previous day.  I will be using actual utensils though.

had my first morning deenz, very tasty.  I had a brownie on the counter that was calling my name, but I could hear the guy in the video making fun of me so I stuck to my guns

I ate seaweed and egg soup and sardines for lunch.

Today's can: Patagonia Provisions Lemon Caper Mackerel https://rainbowtomatoesgarden.com/index.php/product/patagonia-provisions-lemon-caper-mackerel/

Dense, flaky meat with a nice lemon flavor. There were about 10 capers in the can and I'm not sure they contributed anything. Highly recommended and I look forward to other Patagonia offerings

I hope Rowdy is enjoying his sardines.

I ate them up already. I've been eating roast beef this week. I'll buy some more sardines in a few days.

I bought 4 cans of sardines.

which ones?

I ate Patagonia's Spanish Paprika Mackerel yesterday. It was pretty good, but I was a little underwhelmed for the price.