...as voted for by 2000 people.

10:  "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..."

9:  "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle"

8:  "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves"

7:  "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day"

6:  "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas"

5:  "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go"

4:  "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

3:  "Surely every car is a people carrier?"

2:  "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West"


And number one...


"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free"


  

A lorry transporting penguins breaks down. The driver flags down a passing truck.

"I need to take these penguins to the zoo"

"Sure, my lorry is empty" and he sets off.

However soon he spots the same driver walking into a cinema followed by the penguins.

"These penguins are meant to be going to the zoo!"

"We did. But we had some money left over so now we are going to the cinema"

More like Cringe Festival

These are all great

wow really good jokes, thanks Edinburgh

People voted yes, EJ made the 70392th post. Unfortunately this year I will be translating everything that happens in real time on the 11th and her birthday is on the old and new forums combined?

too bad he deleted it

no. 7 is the best one