EJ's first story is arguably the most entertaining one yet

i was unimpressed although fighting is always cool

steev: your ass is grass

One fight I got into at school was pretty laughable.  I was in a grade above these other 2 kids, being about 12-13 years old.  After playing football I went to rest sitting on the grass, and found myself alone when they approached me and said something about beating up an older kid.  It was just me vs one of them, basically we ran around in a circle with him chasing me, and with me turning around every few seconds to use my superior reach and kick him squarely in the nuts.  After 7 or 8 kicks to his crotch, with him being unable to even touch me, and probably being in considerable pain, the end-of-lunch bell went and he said something along the lines of "you got lucky".

highly enjoyable 9/10

what a dumb thing to say.

unicorning bitches, you should've raped them

I should have, but the thought of having children/spawn makes me shudder.

I said I was "sweating like a rapist" ... The head teacher tore me a new azz.

1) They teach oral sex in Scotland???
2) HAWT

When I was in first grade, a little while after Columbine, my friends and I would pretend fight during recess. One of the kids got a few bruises on him one day and decided to go to the nurse who asked where he got them. He pointed to our crew and we all got ISS for a day.

That's really all I have and it was bullpoo poo to begin with.

how boring

but I'm glad you're back

one time i went on myspace at school and mr landeros got mad

I also had to twice sit down for a "frank conversation" with the principal of my middle school for first buying a condom from a fat Mexican who got busted and ratted on all of his clients (Christian school and I bought the condom to be funny or something) Later on I got in trouble for calling a girl fat.

i sucked a dick

once there was a rip in the wallpaper that occurred through some mishap and slowly the hole kept getting bigger mysteriously - OR SO MY PARENTS THOUGHT! 'twas actually me, periodically tearing an extra bit off for some reason. One time I absent mindedly did it while my sister was watching and she ran to my parents screaming "I CAUGHT HIM RED HANDED HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO" so I got in trouble for that. Except I shouldn't have because they re-papered the hallway anyway and I did them a favour by removing that wee bit of the original paper before hand

Selling energy drinks at over a dollar profit a piece. Between all the thievery, black mail, snitches, and having a school of less than 300, it didn't take terribly long to get detention. So I kept going and got suspended. Principal was pissed since he was also the athletic director. Apparently they're bad for your health.